After Valentines

I think I meant it when I said goodbye.
I don't think it would be right if we kept going the way we've been going.
I think it's rather unhealthy. And I think it's about time we both let go and embrace the future. Even if that means we go on alone. You deserve this. I deserve this. There's no use denying who we are. That it's not the same as before. And that it'll never be the same. From this point on, I think we should keep the memories. Only as memories and walk forward as two separate beings.
I do not wish to hear those words from you anymore. You mean well, but you have no idea how much each words fall like snow. It's beautiful and comforting at first but then it build up and soon it becomes entrapped like crystal, cold like stone and leaving nothing but a lonely and unwanted feeling. There is no use denying something that does not exist, simply because it bears no attachment to you. But to me, you who means the world, I must shatter and break free of. You couldn't possibly know of the strength that your words carry. That they choke me, suppress me, and all the same, make me completely dependent on your existence.
Without you, I have nowhere to stand. With you, I have nowhere to grow.
Without me, you'll have no one who feels in such a way. With me, we'll only suffer together.

It is a risk in itself. It can be a wonderful experience full of its ups and down. But without it tragedy is soon to follow.

listening to: Do you have a little time by Dido

Crash

To you I don't exist. Apparently I'm simply wallpaper that is neither scorned nor adored. How annoying.
In any case, have you ever driven on the highway or by some street and all of a sudden there is a major case of traffic on the road way? Your first thought is probably: "damn it's the cops again! Time to slow downnnnnnnnnnnn :D" But when you see no flashing lights in the distance your second thought must be: "Crap. Someone got into a car accident and now everyone's looking." The side show attraction fills your mind with limitless possibilities of what the crash site will appear as. Will it be a drunk driver that crashed into a guard rail? Does it involve two drivers? Or even, sucks to be you now move it or lose it!
However, everything just shuts down once you see the crash. Now picture yourself in the "crash" just outside your neighborhood restaurant. Your car makes a turn signal and attempts to merge into the lane whilst the other person in that lane speeds up.... Turn signal and speeding car hmmmmm sounds like a bad combination. The worst part is, is that when there is no crash but the other driver feels the need to pull over the side and curses you out for "hitting" him. Wait a sec, the other driver didn't even check for damages he just pounces on you? How can you yell at someone who didn't even scratch you? Ten minutes later, the other driver's father appears, yes he called his daddy, and his father shakes his head and says "It's fine. Don't worry about it." And that was it. Noobs.
The next part is where it gets good. When you park into the lot of the neighborhood restaurant call for a table and wait patiently. Then all of a sudden, another crash occurs. This time the person who you apparently got into a "car accident" with enters the very same neighborhood restaurant. What a small world. ;)

Fire and Ice

Sometimes i feel like i don't even live here. As if I am some sort of guest at their residence. Unwanted and waiting for me to make a destination and depart soon. It's as if I live in another dimension. Like a passing show that which sees you butyou cannot see me. And that ignorance or rather unawareness burns me asunder. But it is true. I am waiting, for the day I will depart. It is not that i dislike all the people who reside here but it does not feel like home. Even when i awake from dreaming I still picture in my mind, right before I open my eyes, my small room back home. It may be small but all the same, it is still mine.

Now there is silence. Empty noise and sorrow. It appears fortune did not smile upon my family. But maybe this is a chapter in his life he must overcome. But what now? After tragedy, how do characters rise up? What made Juliet take the dagger? And what made Simba take a stand? How does one fight an overwhelming force?

Listening to:
Soul Edge Boy by AAA